dogapult:

i like how raspberries have little hairs on them like what r u keeping warm for??? it’s plenty warm inside my mouth which is where ur going u dumb little fuzz berry

sparkhy:

you might as well wear a condom on your head if you’re gonna act like a dick 

pansexual fun fact #1

brttny32194:

mysticpotstickers:

pansexuals will steal your girl, your man, your non-binary romantic partner, your car, your bank account PIN number, and your cat.

it’s true

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

me: home alone yes time to fuck shit up and be rebellious
me: uses computer without headphones
tastefullyoffensive:

[via]
cactusaenigma:

bythewayimbi:

Grim reaper, you classy whore

The Devil Wears Prada 

cactusaenigma:

bythewayimbi:

Grim reaper, you classy whore

The Devil Wears Prada 

onemaytolerateaworldfullofdemons:

The only sort of pictures you should be reblogging of Jennifer Lawrence

Friendly reminder that anyone born between 1985-1998 didn’t get their hogwarts letter because Voldemort’s ministry wiped out the record of muggleborns
still-carrying-on:

reading-the-scrolls:

facts-i-just-made-up:

we-are-all-quite-mad-here:

facts-i-just-made-up:

rocky-otter:

facts-i-just-made-up:

cocktormedick:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Mated turtles share their shells!
Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will coordinate their arm and leg movements to walk and even swim.

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.

TURTLES SPINES ARE FUSED TO THEIR FUCKING SHELLS!! THEY CAN’T LEAVE THEIR SHELLS!!!

No no no you’re thinking of Hermit Crabs. Hermit Crabs are fused to their shells with their spinal columns. Turtles are perfectly capable of leaving their shells, free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment.

where do the two remaining front legs go?

If you look carefully at a common single turtle, you’ll notice that they only have one front flipper. This is because at the dawn of time, all turtles were conjoined like the one above. But Zeus feared these double headed creatures and decided that they were too powerful so he split them all in two. Now, all turtles have to wander the Earth looking for their other halves, and that’s the origin of turtle love.

Wait wait wait but hermit crabs change shells while they grow

It was sarcasm, linds.

still-carrying-on:

reading-the-scrolls:

facts-i-just-made-up:

we-are-all-quite-mad-here:

facts-i-just-made-up:

rocky-otter:

facts-i-just-made-up:

cocktormedick:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Mated turtles share their shells!

Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will coordinate their arm and leg movements to walk and even swim.

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.

TURTLES SPINES ARE FUSED TO THEIR FUCKING SHELLS!! THEY CAN’T LEAVE THEIR SHELLS!!!

No no no you’re thinking of Hermit Crabs. Hermit Crabs are fused to their shells with their spinal columns. Turtles are perfectly capable of leaving their shells, free to pursue a life of religious fulfillment.

where do the two remaining front legs go?

If you look carefully at a common single turtle, you’ll notice that they only have one front flipper. This is because at the dawn of time, all turtles were conjoined like the one above. But Zeus feared these double headed creatures and decided that they were too powerful so he split them all in two. Now, all turtles have to wander the Earth looking for their other halves, and that’s the origin of turtle love.

Wait wait wait but hermit crabs change shells while they grow

It was sarcasm, linds.